We are here on this planet in the flesh as His to become Him and to manifest God’s glory to His beloved and to those who have chosen not to love Him and be one with Him. When we, as believers, do not allow Him to foster an intimacy with us, then we are not His disciples–we are not disciplined. We are His sheep, but we have allowed the things of the world to pull our interest away from Him. We, therefore, are selfish traitors to the Throne. Will we be known in Glory? If we have been predestined before the foundation of the world to be conformed into His image, then yes, we will be known. But what is in store for those of us who are His that refuse His intimacy and refuse to manifest the salvation of God while we are still living? Can anyone answer this? Death is personal. Only God knows the true heart of a person. Let the words of my mouth and the meditations of my heart be acceptable in Your sight, my God and my Redeemer.
I want all of Him. I want the Kingdom today. I want intimacy with Him every moment, whether I am asleep or awake. Why do I have these desires? Because He has revealed Himself to me, implanted faith within me, brought me through many trials and is showing me that He, and only He, is all that matters–because He is God, my Creator. His desire to be made manifest in all of His creation has become my desire. All selfishness and rebellious desire is disappearing from me as I am more and more in His presence, in the usual and ordinary as well as on the occasional mountaintop.
Will I be in a better place in the Kingdom if I walk close by Him in this life? This is a strange question to be asked by a disciple because the Kingdom is now for the one who will submit to the Lord in life. He places us where He wants us, in this life and in the life hereafter. We work for Him according to His plan, not our own. All work for Him is good and pleasing.
Will my heart burn with sorrow if I have not been intimate with Him when I could have been? Yes. It does even today. But I am learning to accept His forgiveness for my selfishness and to move on into His glory. I can still work for Him according to His plan. The believing thief on the cross had work to do as well, though it was to be done after his earthly departure. St. Paul is perhaps the best example of someone who wasted many years as one of His lost sheep, even killing other Christians, before He was awakened and realized that he had work to do for Jesus. He was sorrowful to his core, but he learned to be haunted by the glory of God and the salvation that was given to him through the death of God on the Cross, and in doing so, his being haunted by his sin melted away into the love of God. Did others who had walked closely by Jesus all of their lives have a greater place in the Kingdom than Paul? No. No lesser; but no greater. There is no hierarchy in the Kingdom as e find it in the world of fallen mankind. Some shine like stars, some like planets, some like grains of sand who so happen to receive the blessing of the full moon–but all shine and all have a purpose.
I have lost much time doing my own will while disregarding, and even denying, my professed Lord. The believing thief had lost an entire lifetime. Others come into full intimacy with Him early in life, and walk closely with Him for many years. The Lord loves us all, and wants us all to come into a full realization of Eternity, which is not marked at all with Time. Eternity is Now, and always has been Now.
Those who have walked with Him longer have one thing that we others do not have–unbroken intimacy and uninterrupted use as vessels for His manifestation. We must live forever with our choices, but these need not haunt us. They will, though, act as continual goads towards proper action and holiness in Him. I have lost many years that could have been spent with Him because of my selfishness and rebellious desire for separation from Him. But He loves us all, and wants all of His lost sheep to come back into the fold of His Oneness. When we do, we begin where we left off, and He does not throw our fruitlessness back at us, but lovingly invites us to walk with Him into Eternity, as His devoted workers and friends of righteousness. That Eternity begins Today. Have I had enough of my self and the things of this rotten world?
Remember also this: we are known by our love and our fruits. This is the way we know one another. None of us knows who is in the Kingdom at the final hour, so we are to love all–even if loving them must be done from a distance… through intercession. Today, I see into a mirror darkly. Then, face to face.